How to lose weight and keep it off for good!
My story
All of my life I have “struggled with my weight”. And when I say struggle, I don’t mean I’m obese or have health issues. What I mean is I have always struggled with what my weight says about me and how it makes me feel. I’ve never been obese, but at one point I was overweight. I have a small frame. I’m petite and just 5’1.5” (yes I need to add in that extra half inch) so every pound seemed to count as well.
What I’ve come to realize is that my real problem wasn’t with the number on the scale. It was the negative self talk in my head, poor body image and self-esteem, and lack of knowledge.
Here are some examples of the negative self-talk going on in my head:
“I look different.”
“I feel fat.”
“I look fat.”
“I am fat.”
“I hate the way I look.”
“I wish I looked like her.”
Oh and my favorite,“If only I was skinnier, I’d be happier...”
...But you know what, that was the biggest lie of all. I did eventually lose weight. I got “skinny.” And you know what happened? I got “fat” again. Because even though I lost more than 30 pounds (!!) I still thought I was fat. Why is that?
Why are women so accustomed to calling themselves fat? Why are we never good enough for ourselves? Why can’t we be happy in our skin, in our own bodies? It’s the only one we got! No one else’s. I’ll never have anyone else’s body and no one else will have mine.
Fitting in
As most young people do, I just wanted to fit in. In school that meant I wanted to be one of the “skinny girls.” I was pretty chunky as a kid despite all the activities I did, dance, soccer, and softball mostly. But I carried this baby fat all the way until middle school. I started to slim out in the 6th grade. I slimmed out quite a bit, but then boobs came, and hips, and a butt. So now I had new problems to be self-conscious about. Even though I was developing natural curves as a female I became even more insecure because I didn’t look like all the other girls who went through puberty later and remained straight and flat chested for a couple more years.
In high school, I slimmed down to a size 4 and tried desperately to squeeze into a size 2. In fact, my prom dress in 10th grade was a size 2. But guess what, I still thought I was fat! I just couldn’t embrace this beautiful body I had because of past trauma. Getting called fat on the school bus, getting made fun of for wearing a bra before other girls, boys throwing things into my voluminous curly hair, and on it goes.
I remember for weeks leading up to prom, I ate one piece of fruit and a granola bar for lunch. That’s all. Because I didn’t know any better. Did anyone teach me anything about a healthy balanced diet? No. My mom tried to keep us healthy, but I’m Italian. We definitely ate pasta probably more than most. Nor did I learn how to workout.
Freshman 15
Jumping ahead to college, I’ll never forget the words of wisdom my mom said to me as she left me at my Freshmen dorm, “Don’t forget Audrey, alcohol has calories too.” And so it does. Unoriginally, I gained the “Freshman 15.” If you’re not familiar with the term, it’s a way of expressing the weight gain one may experience when they start college usually because of more free reign with food and college drinking.
When I graduated college in 2013 I was at least 20 pounds overweight. My mom was right, alcohol does have calories, so does pizza, Chinese food, and whatever other late night snacks we could get our hands on. I thought I was making the right choices when all my friends would head to the grill for burgers at dinner and I would go to the salad bar. I also went to the gym a few times a week. That’s where my love for Zumba first started. But no matter what I did, I gained weight and still thought I was fat. But I actually didn’t realize how much weight I had gained because in my head I was just fat. So when I kept having to buy new clothes, I didn’t notice much.
Looking back, here are the top 4 mistakes I made.
Mistake #1
Avoiding the scale. Not unlike many women, the scale was my arch enemy. Why would I voluntarily subject myself to such horror as seeing the number that determined how fat I was. I avoided it at all costs. But this was such a problem, because I didn’t know if I was losing weight, gaining weight, or staying the same. How can I fix a problem that I don’t know exists?
Mistake #2
Ineffective exercising. I thought I was doing the right thing by going to the gym. But to be honest, I never really knew what I was doing. I either stayed on the treadmill or elliptical at one steady, modest pace or I was doing crunches thinking that the more I did the more of my belly fat would melt away. I even tried this workout plan once that my friend recommended. It was on a body builder website. Was I trying to be a body builder? No. So why on earth would I follow that workout plan?
Mistake #3
Lack of nutrition knowledge. I didn’t know anything about portions, macros, or other nutrients nor did I understand how the food I was putting into my body affected it. Did I ever stop to think about how much sugar was in that grande caramel macchiato from Starbucks or how many calories was in that whole pizza? No. Because who was? No one else. Did I think that by drinking a Slim Fast shake every morning I would magically become slimmer? Yes, yes I did, or at least hoped and prayed.
Mistake #4
No set goals. I can’t tell you how many times I said to myself or to someone else, “I’m going to lose weight” or “I’m on a diet.” But I never set clear goals for myself or created a plan. It was just a thought. While it’s good to think about your goals, it’s just not enough to have that thought and then wish it to happen. You have to do the work.
Losing weight
So how did I finally lose 25 pounds and become much healthier? The key to any weight loss goal is lifestyle change. If you don’t create change, then any weight you lose will come right back. Believe me I’ve experienced it both ways and I talk about it in my post “How I lost 10 pounds and gained it all back plus more.”
The first time I successfully lost weight, it was the first Spring after college. Not only did I lose weight, I became healthier. Let’s call it that instead. Yes, I lost weight, but it was a circumstance of getting healthier.
Looking back, these are the corrections I made.
Correction #1
I started by weighing myself. I weighed in at 155 pounds. I’ll remind you, I’m only slightly taller than 5 feet. It’s one thing to not look and feel great, but this was not a healthy weight for me. So when I finally got on the scale and found out what it said, it shocked me. How could I let this happen? I’ll tell you how it happened. I made the four mistakes above and many more.
Correction #2
I found inspiration and support. And I didn’t have to look far. One of my friends lost a lot of weight and she looked fantastic. I wanted to look that great too and feel successful. I asked her how she did it. She told me she used a Jillian Michaels workout plan and tracked her calories on MyFitnessPal. During my weight loss journey, I would turn to her for support. It was extremely helpful to have someone who went through the same thing. By the way, she’s still sharing her weight loss journey with others. You can follow her at https://www.instagram.com/haileydoesww/.
Correction #3
I did my research. I researched and read the healthiest ways to lose weight. This helped me to create a plan which included learning to workout effectively and eating a balanced diet. I took the advice of my friend and started doing the Jillian Michaels circuit training workout. This was my first experience with circuit training. The first time I did the 30 minute workout, it took me almost an hour. But as I started getting stronger and more acquainted with the exercises and equipment, I eventually completed it in 30 minutes.
Correction #4
I tracked my food intake. Another friend of mine lost a lot of weight by tracking all of her food intake. It seemed like it would be really tedious, but MyFitnessPal was a life saver. It makes food tracking sooo easy. I really didn’t understand how many calories were in what I was eating until I started tracking it. I could also track my macronutrients (protein, carbohydrates, and fat) even fiber and sodium intake which is also important for health and weight loss. Now that I knew how many calories were in that cookie, I put it down. It wasn’t that I felt guilty or ashamed, but I finally felt empowered to make the healthier choice. Now I was understanding where all these calories were coming from and that I needed a calorie deficit in order to lose weight. I finally started to understand it. It was like my “aha” moment.
Correction #5
I changed my diet. I wasn’t ON a diet. I CHANGED my diet. Some of my cousins have a gluten intolerance and one was diagnosed with Celiac’s Disease which led me to believe I could possibly have an intolerance or allergy to gluten as well. So I decided to cut out all gluten for at least 6 weeks and then slowly reincorporate it to see how I reacted. Besides for losing weight, I felt so much more energetic and less bloated. I’m not saying that cutting out gluten is the right thing to do. It was right for me at the time. You will have to find what works for you by doing your own research and consulting with your physician.
Correction #6
I learned how to say no. By cutting out gluten, I unintentionally cut out a lot of sugar and that helped tremendously especially considering my major sweet tooth. I’ll never forget this defining moment for me. My sister had friends over for a study group and they all brought sooo much junk food. I’m talking chips, donuts, cupcakes, you name it, all sitting out on the kitchen counter after I got home from work. The old me would have dived right into all of that. But because I was committed to myself and my plan, I did not cave. Instead I grabbed my bag of mini rice cakes and headed upstairs where it was out of sight and out of mind. And it worked! Then at work when someone would come around the office and offer whatever delicious baked good they made, I had the strength to say no. Same if someone wanted to put more food on my plate. The answer was no. And I had to be ok with not caring what the other person thought. Instead it was empowering for me. I couldn’t let others make me feel guilty. I had to feel good about my decisions and stick with them.
Lifestyle change
As with anything else, there are exceptions to these “rules”. I definitely had drinks and cake on my birthday. I ate a wonderful pasta dinner with my family on Mother’s Day. But that didn't mean I just let go after that and forget about all the progress I made. Just because I relaxed the rules on one day, didn’t mean I relaxed for the rest of the week. I created a balance for myself that allowed me to have fun so I never felt restricted. Yes, you will have to make some tough choices and be a little more strict at first if you’re really serious about losing weight, but that shouldn't be your forever goal.
I cannot stress this enough, but the goal of losing and keeping weight off is the lifestyle change. It’s the change from eating donuts for breakfast to eating scrambled eggs. It’s the change from having dessert every night to having one portion of dessert once a week. It’s the change from doing the elliptical five times a week to Zumba on Saturdays, circuit training on Mondays, Yoga on Tuesdays, and Kickboxing on Thursdays. I recommend sticking to a set plan for at least two months or until you’ve reached your weight loss goal and then loosening the reins just enough to maintain. The key is to keep what you have learned in practice and not forget all your progress and go have a mountainous burger every night for dinner. It’s about being modest and honest with yourself.
Best Practices
With my new best practices I lost 25 pounds in 3 months and have kept it all off since (6 years so far). Yes, I’ve lost more since then and then gained some back which I talk about in my post How to lose 10 pounds the wrong way.
To summarize, here are the best practices I learned to lose weight and successfully keep it off:
Lifestyle change - The new things I learned about health and wellness will never go away. Yes, I may not always make the best choices all the time. But we all have to live our lives, right?
Learn how to work out - I can’t express this enough. Having an effective workout plan will make all the difference. If you spend hours on the elliptical and you feel like it’s not working, guess what, it isn’t! If you’re not challenging your body, you’re not changing it.
Food journal - No, you don’t have to do it forever, but it is a must when you have a weight loss goal.
Track your progress - And I don’t just mean the number on the scale. I also recommend tracking inches lost by measuring your waist, hips, and chest at minimum, and additionally your arms, thighs, and neck if you choose. If you’re working out and gaining muscle, measuring yourself can be more accurate than weighing yourself. Muscle weighs more than fat so that’s why tracking your inches can be extremely valuable. If you do weigh yourself, and I encourage you to regardless, pick a day and time to weigh yourself every week. Even if you do get off track don’t be afraid to weigh in. And don’t forget to track any other progress you make! Couldn’t do 5 push ups to start and now you can do 10? Woohoo! Celebrate it (but not with cake). Weight loss is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs and that’s ok. The important thing is that you don’t give up.
Final Takeaways
My biggest takeaway was the lifestyle change I made and the way I think of and look at myself. I now love working out and I actually teach workout classes! Never, ever in my life did I think I’d be a Fitness Instructor and Health & Wellness Coach, but here I am. All because I created a plan, stuck with my goals, and challenged myself. But it wasn’t just the lifestyle change that has helped me keep the weight off. It’s the voices in my head I had to change and that was definitely the hardest part. Yes, I have my bad days for sure like anyone else, but I know that I am beautiful inside and out. I had to stop thinking of myself as fat and calling myself fat. Yes, there are goals I’m still working on and will I ever be totally happy with myself? I don’t know, but I am a lot kinder to myself. Now, I’m a healthier version of me for good.
